Okay, there’s that sore spot again.
You know how you press your big toe against the inside of your shoe over and over again when you have an ingrown toenail–presumably because you need to be sure the nail is still there and still causing pain?
Well, that’s what I’ve done for the umpteenth time now with gazillions of articles out there supposedly designed to help single women find a match–I keep reading them!
And I keep screaming.
And in my frustration I read more.
The dumbing down of real life issues has lead a lot of sincere people to conclude that a woman’s singleness MUST be a result of her desperation, her inability to roll with the punches, or with her insistence that her man has a J-O-B and a street address that’s different from his mother’s.
Maybe writing a book on marriage drives me to this crazy irritation. Or maybe living on a campus where girls feel like failures if they don’t order their wedding invitations at the same time as their graduation announcements that does it. Or maybe dating twenty years before finding my Mr. Right has put me over the edge. But just for the record, I’m a little sensitive about how the married world views the “condition” of the single woman.
What if a woman is single because God wants her single? Because He knows she would hate married life? Because He has something so monumental for her to do that mixing it with the mundane would be almost funny? Because He’s trying to cut her a break? Because He wants her to know He is as much of a comforter as people with skin are. Because He wants to spare her the pain of losing a man. Because the one thing everyone knows Jane Doe can’t do without is a man . . . then she doesn’t get one . . . and somehow Jane is fine with that . . . Who gets the glory?
Marriage doesn’t always solve problems any more than chicken soup always cures colds.
This Post Has 9 Comments
I second that motion, Dawn.
I can see you feel strongly about this 🙂 On the flip side, there is a growing philosophy among single women that men don’t measure up…. ever…. so they are not worthy of marriage. The standard is set so high, and expectations are so lofty that no man could ever meet them. Coupled with the emasculation of men in the media, a guy doesn’t have a chance. And a girl comes across as too idealistic to even try to pursue a relationship with her. Food for thought on both sides, though, so thanks for sharing!
I do see your point, Jo. I just get scared when I notice women who see marriage as their goal as opposed to seeing God’s glory as their goal convince themselves that even a bad man is better than no man at all. They will literally settle for anything . . . just so they can be called “Mrs.”
yes, that is why I said “food for thought on both sides.” Because I saw that too often when I was in college. I don’t like the “settling” thing either because that is about insecurity, not about trusting God for what His plan for your life is…
Thanks, Sherr! As always, love your writing! 🙂
Having two unmarried daughters over the age of thirty, I can safely say that I have observed them come into their own and be successful without (or before) they marry. Much to be said for becoming who God wants you to be first before you have a husband.
So true, Cindy. And I bet they’ll both be glad for that regardless of which paths their lives will take.
As a single woman for 36 years and a single mom, I’ve experienced and seen this gamut of emotions on the topic, Sherry. What I can see is . . . singleness is yet another opportunity to rely heavily on the presence, comfort, help, assurance, provision, and love of my Maker, my Husband. He gets the glory when we kick the “buts” and allow Him to lead the way in life through the difficulties and trials. Surrender, and let Him do what He wants and knows is best. joannjoneswalczak.blogspot.com
Jo Ann, you have just expressed what the whole world needs to know is true — that it is God who fulfills what no man ever could . . . and that He’s unwilling to give up that role in anyone’s life, married or single.